Learning

This is quite different than bringing home a brand new baby who you've birthed.

The obvious difference is that the one you birth is yours and this one isn't, but beyond that, this baby hasn't been with us since the beginning of his life.  Does he like to be held a certain way?  Does he require an uber quiet environment to sleep?  Does he burp after every ounce or just at the end of the bottle?

One thing we learned very quickly:  He spits up after every feeding.  A LOT. 

Our bio son was a puker.  We tried medications for reflux.  They worked for about two weeks and then he was at it again.   He wasn't in any pain, that we could tell, so it was merely a laundry issue.   Not just his laundry.  MY laundry.

If I remember correctly, Baby only got up for one feeding during the night.  That doesn't mean I slept peacefully.  I still had to get used to baby squeaks and grunts during the night because he slept in the pack n play in our room that night.

We have a baby.....still surreal.

Baby Inspection

We had been told to 'inspect' any children who come into our home and make note of any marks/issues going on with them.

We found what we thought was a birth mark and took pictures for our records.

Baby also came with a rather nasty diaper rash.  :-/  Sweet friends were coming to bring us a mattress for the crib we bought and asked if there was anything else we needed.  Diaper. Rash. Cream.  They graciously picked that up for us.  Poor baby.

Other than those two issues, baby seemed to be in pretty good condition.  Sounds like I 'kicked the tires on a used car' or something. 

Our goal?  Make him less of an object and more like a family member. 

6:00pm

On the way to meet the caseworker, I believe we inhaled some sort of fast food.  It's a blur, really.

We got to Walmart a little early and went in to look for that crib that the other store didn't have.  It had also dawned on me that we didn't have diapers, bottles, burb cloths, etc.  Fortunately, the caseworker called and we were able to ask if he was coming with any of those items.  He was.  I did pick up a few things.  While we were loading up the car, the caseworker called again to say she was there, sitting in the car, feeding the baby.

We got in the car, drove around the lot to find her car and parked when we saw her.

Here we are.  In a Walmart parking lot.  Meeting a lady we'd never met.  Who didn't ask us for ID.

And we got a baby. At Walmart.  She handed me this tiny almost-five-month old boy.  Smitten.

I spoke to the caseworker a bit.  She tried to give me details about what the baby had been through that day and a little about what he was like.

He came with a tub full of clothes, blankets, diapers, 2 bottles, formula, a diaper bag and a car seat. We transferred everything to our car and the caseworker left. 

We have a baby...

- Bald
- TINY, wearing a 3m outfit

- Sporting a double chin and mini-leg rolls



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Did I mention it was crazy hair day at VBS? 

I'm so glad my hair was normal....but our son looked like this....

I tried explaining this to the caseworker....

3:22pm

I'm at the music lesson with my children and my phone rings. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail since I was IN the lesson.  I notice that whoever called has left a message.  I was just about to check it when my husband called.  I was still in the lesson so I let him go to voicemail, also,  (bad wife) so I could listen to the first voicemail.  It was DCS (Dept of Children Services).  The lady said something about being our worker, whom we hadn't met, but even though we hadn't met, she was calling with a potential placement.  <insert shock>

I stepped out of the lesson and called my husband, who was a little...excited?...as he told me he had just gotten off the phone with a caseworker about a placement.  He began to give me the info he had:

- white, male. 4 months old
- being transferred from another foster family
- has 'limp baby' syndrome
- possibly blind
- foster mom said "it takes too long to feed him"
- can we take him today?

He told the lady that he needed to speak to me before he gave her an answer.

While I'm on the phone with hubs, a similar mystery number called me.  I let hubs go to answer this call. It was a different caseworker.  She gave me the info hubs just ran down for me.  I told her that I needed to speak to my husband before I gave her an answer.

While pacing the halls of the church where the music lessons were held, I called to speak to hubs again.  We wondered, "Could we deal with a blind child?"  "How severe is 'limp baby syndrome?'"  "Why did other foster family disrupt their placement?"

The ultimate question though, "Do we want to take this placement?"

We decided to trust the Lord. 

Hubs called the caseworker back and told her that we could accept the placement.

Talk about butterflies in your stomach.  Oh my word.  We just agreed to take a baby.  Someone else's baby.

The caseworker explained that their process is to call three families.  If they get a 'yes' from all three families, a group of caseworkers reviews all of our files and decides which family might best fit the child.  We were told that we would be called back with a decision.

<Begin freak out>

As soon as the music lesson was over, I told the children that we *might* get a baby in a few hours.  They were excited.  So excited that I had to prepare them for it not happening, lest their hearts be broken.

Hubs and I decided to meet at, where else? Walmart.  If we were getting a baby, we'd need a car seat stat.  We also looked at cribs, even though we had a pack n play.  We were told that DCS prefers a crib....it's more "permanent."

While strolling the aisles and comparing prices, hubs' phone rang.  It was DCS and we had been chosen to get the baby.   (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  His caseworker said she'd meet us to give us custody.  Where did she want to meet?  Where else??  Walmart!  A different Walmart, across town.  In one hour.

We purchased a travel system, but this Walmart didn't have the crib we chose.  Good thing we were headed to another Walmart...

VBS day 2

(I took that funky fabric to my friend today.  Can't wait to have some curtains!!)

Felt so weird dropping off the kids.

It also felt weird to have everyone at church who knows you typically work VBS asking why you're being a slacker not working this year.  Since we've announced that we're going to foster, this has been my reply, "I'm expecting a child."  No really.  It's been fun.

So, VBS this morning, with crazy hair day. Later, our oldest has a music lesson.  I love taking them out in public on crazy hair day!!!  (GLAD I'm not working VBS with crazy hair of my own.  Something always happens before I can calm my hair down, so then I'm in public with crazy hair...and it isn't Halloween.)

Curtains

Here's a fuzzy picture of the fabric that will be curtains.

Just as soon as I get around to asking someone to whip them up.

In our old house, we finished a bonus room upstairs.  The walls were the light blue color and this was the fabric that would've been a futon cover and a curtain for one window.  Those items were never made....and then we moved.  I'm so glad I held onto this fabric!!! There's tan in it, so the tan walls will be perfect.  I plan to paint canvases that mimic the squares.  It's funky and I really think we can consider it gender-neutral. 

**Update:  I asked on Facebook if someone could make four simple panel curtains out of this.  I got a response and I'm taking the fabric to her at VBS tomorrow.  We'll have curtains soon!!

VBS

I have worked VBS at our church *I think* every year since I had our first baby.

I was called back in March and asked to work.  At that point, we hadn't told many people that we were getting licensed to foster.  In fact, we didn't announce it on the mighty Facebook until last week when we received our approval letter.

Anyway, I felt I should decline the commitment this year.  I knew that we could be approved by April or May, because that would be around the six month mark of us starting this process and that's the "ballpark" timeframe for getting licensed.  I have heard story after story about foster parents getting calls very soon after receiving their approval. Like, even THAT day.

I really thought I should keep my calendar clear beginning in May in case our approval came and we quickly got a placement.

VBS starts tomorrow and I'll be dropping my kids off.

Weird.