Preparing

Our license will allow us to take in two children.  Specifically, we had siblings in mind when we decided to take two.   If anything ever happened to require our bio children to enter foster care, heaven forbid, we would want our kiddos to stay together, so that was the motivation behind our decision.  So many siblings sets are split up because foster families can't/won't take more than one child.  Breaks my heart.

We have a bedroom upstairs that has, until now, been a gathering place, really.  There used to be a futon, night stand and armoire....plus a plethora of children's toys/games/books, oh and a foosball table.  This will now be our fosterling's bedroom. 

The walls are tan...and I'm leaving them tan.  It's neutral.  We never know who we'll get.  We thought it'd be easy to buy gender-specific bedding/wall décor when we got a placement.  Either that, or we'd figure out a way to decorate a completely neutral room.

We sold the futon.  We put the foosball table in the attic.  We cleaned the room and set up the twin size bed I grew up on.  I bought a pack n play from a friend, in case we got a baby.  I just had no idea how to really prepare.

The room was essentially ready to go...were we?

The Wait

Once we received our letter of approval, we anxiously awaited the call that we were needed.

I really hadn't had a reason to sleep without my phone being on silent....until this point.  A LOT of calls for children needing a home come in the wee hours of the morning.  There are a multitude of reasons for that, nevertheless, it was time to turn the ringer on 24/7.

I've never gone to bed on pins and needles before.

Just waiting....

Licensed

After the classes.

After the home study. 

After the background checks. 

After the fingerprinting. 

After the reference checks. 

We finally received our approval and we're now official, licensed foster parents as of May 26, 2014. 

Excitement??

From the first time we EVER asked our kids how they would feel about adopting, they were supportive.  In fact, the whole process took far too long to them.  They would ask, "When will we get a kid??" and, "Is it ever going to happen?"  They were excited.

We were excited.  Excited to obey The Lord.  Excited to love on someone who needed it.  Excited to be a light in this dark world.

But this excitement....it's bittersweet.  I had to have a conversation with the big kids.  In order for us to be needed, for any of this to even be necessary, something bad has to happen in the life of a child.  Whether they aren't cared for properly or they've been harmed or they've been discarded....something outside of God's design for a family had to happen.  We shouldn't WANT to be needed.  Follow me?  We should pray that every child everywhere has a wonderful, safe home.  We all know that this is a sinful world, full of sinful people...even us.  So when people are left to make their own choices...there will always be a need for foster care.

And so, with this excitement, anticipation even, we moved forward in the process. Excited that the Lord has set us on this path to love on someone. And...not just the child...

Home Study process

Our home study interviews began at the end of February. The HS writer (an employee of an adoption agency who was contracted to write it - which isn't always the case) came to our house to meet us and look around the house. An initial inspection helped her to know what changes we needed to make around the home and get a lay of the land, so to speak.  She collected paperwork that we had already completed and copied. That was a time-saver!  We were able to flip through the forms and simply give her a copy.  It pays to be organized!!

On her next visit, she checked to see if we had made the changes. (We needed: Safety plugs in out outlets - Fire extinguishers on each level of the home - Carbon monoxide detectors - Locks for the firearms - Double locks for all medications).

Each member of the family was interviewed privately...yes, even the children.  I don't believe anything too personal was asked of them.  They told a little about themselves and they were asked how they felt about us pursuing foster care/adoption (thrilled, btw).  The adult interviews, however, are more personal.  They need to know your history because "skeletons" have a way of surfacing when certain circumstances arise.  For example, if you had been sexually abused as a child and then you take in a child who has also been abused, they need to know whether or not you've dealt with your situation in order to function in a healthy manner around that child....as well as the perpetrator, because yes, you really could meet that person, depending on the situation.  How will you handle it?  CAN you handle it?  So while the process is not the most comfortable, it is necessary.  Your perspective has to be about the safety of any children you will bring into your home.  If the tables were turned, you'd be thankful that the people caring for your child had been thoroughly screened, right?

Our portion of the home study was completed in late March/early April.  At that point, we had to wait on the writer to finish compiling the info into a report to be submitted to the state.  Once the state received it, they called us in to review and sign it.  From there, it was sent to higher state officials for approval.

We signed ours on May 20th.  We received our letter of approval on May 27th.

PATH classes

The first steps toward foster care adoption are: 1) complete a resource parent application. 2) sign up for and complete PATH training. (PATH = Parents as Tender Healers)

These classes are meant to teach you about the foster care system.  The purpose, the whys and hows, and the wide spectrum of needs within the system. It can be scary to hear some of this information. In fact, one couple at the very first class never came back. :-/

Here are the required classes (and when we took them):

12/21/2013 - Orientation
1/4/2014 - Understanding the Child Welfare System
1/11/2014 - Effective Discipline
1/14/2014 - Impact of Trauma
2/1/2014 - Cultural Awareness and Panel of Experts
2/11/2014 - Medication Administration
2/15/2014 - CPR & First Aid

As I mentioned above, the information can be scary.  It's awful to hear reasons why some children are brought into foster care.  It truly made me watch the news in a whole new way.  I mean, each time there was a story of a mother or father in a mess, I would think, well, someone just got a call for their children. 

We didn't grow up in a fabulous part of town.  It was a low income area with lots of crime.  We were exposed to 'crazy' while we were growing up.  Hubs and I agree that this was to our advantage.  We weren't completely shocked by the information we were learning in these classes.  That couple who quit?  They were from the 'good' side of the tracks.

Something you have to decide when thinking about foster care is whether or not you will be able to support reunification with the birth family.  After all, that is the goal of Child Services.  To reunite the child with blood relatives, if at all possible.  Will it be the BEST thing for the child?  Not always.  But it's family.  If they will be safe and provided for, the state will place them back with blood every time.  Will it be easy?  Nope. More on that later.

We thoroughly enjoyed our PATH classes.  Our instructor was wonderful.  We became friends with another couple in the class.  We were all sad when the classes ended and we wouldn't be seeing each other weekly.  We were sharing a journey.  Thank goodness for phones. :)
 

Do Something

There's a super song out by Matthew West right now called Do Something.

This song reflects how I feel.  We should all be doing SOMETHING.   

In my previous post, I mentioned that God uses people. We are here to be used.  For HIS glory.  That looks different for everyone. We can't all DO the same things...,who would do the other things? 

Are we only doing things within our homes?  Our churches?  What about all of God's creation outside of those places?  We are ALL called to be salt and light....what does that look like for you? 

I realize that foster care/adoption isn't going to be done by everyone....but some of us, ahem, are just stubborn to the will of the Father.  Some of us can't open our homes. Some of us wouldn't fathom it. (By the way, every reservation I previously had was fueled by selfishness.) But whether you would do it yourself or not, you CAN choose to be supportive of those who do. 

You can raid your attic for baby/child items you no longer need. 

You can keep your eyes open for good deals on such items and share the info. 

You can ask what needs might be. 

You can take a "support person" class so that you can be called upon to provide care if an emergency arises....or just offer childcare for the parents to have an evening out. 

You can love on the children. (Many of them don't know what real love looks like.)

You can care. 

You can pray. 

Be obedient to what God tells you to do....but Do something. 

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Enjoy the song here:

http://youtu.be/b_RjndG0IX8

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