Vision

Dumplin has come so far...

When we first got him, he couldn't fix/focus on anything.  He wasn't tracking.  His poor little eyes would float off to the side and twitch...sometimes disappearing.

Early on, we felt that he responded to light, though.  He would turn toward a window or the tv.  Then, we thought we were noticing that he'd 'stare' at bold patterns.  The curtains in his room are a funky fabric with geometric shapes.  He seemed to stare at them.  He also seemed to get fixed on a few very large photographs in the living room.

We would tell the ophthalmologist these things, but there wasn't much response.  Several assistants there would take turns coming into the room, flash some blinking toys at Dumplin, and walk out.  Oh how I hated their lack of 'bedside manner.'

The very first time we knew for sure that Dumplin could see, to some extent, was once as he sat in an exer-saucer.  Our little dog ran past him....and his head followed.  Talk about excited!!!  We began to notice him following things, but there was a lag between his head turning and his eyes following.  Maybe it'll just take some time....

In May, the doctor dilated his eyes and said that he's farsighted.  She said we needed to patch one eye each day for an hour, then do the same the next day with the opposite eye.   We tried to do this some....but, admittedly, we weren't consistent, nor was Dumplin the most compliant.

We had a follow up appointment last week.  The same doctor, and crew, did the same things...making me the same amount of angry.  In the end, the dr said, "I see a little change," and that we should keep doing what we were doing.   Nope.  I'm done here.

Our thought was that she'd already diagnosed him as farsighted...why not deal with that?  We've seen babies far younger than Dumplin wearing glasses.  I came home from that appointment and looked up another doctor who I'd heard great things about.  We had that appointment yesterday.

The new doctor's office was night and day different than the last one.  LOVED it.  The doctor was nice and did a much better job of explaining his thoughts on Dumplin.  He agreed with the farsightedness diagnosis and prescribed glasses.  We left there happy.  Maybe THIS will make a difference for Dumplin!

I was able to find a doctor's office, that day, who would accept Dumplin's insurance and order his glasses.  Can't wait to see how this changes things!

Mom

Mom has been in one facility and has moved to a new one now.  She can now have weekly visits.  In order for us to be able to take Dumplin to see her, we had to attend an orientation at the facility.  We got the Dos and Don'ts.  Overall, duh.  We can't slip her money, cigarettes, alcohol, weapons, or drugs.  We had to sign off on the policies and provide our driver's license for ID.

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Hold on, let's talk about the anonymity of foster parents.

Apparently, in this state, there is none.

From that first visit with Dad, we had to sign in at the building where we were visiting.  A sticker with our names was printed and we wore it on our shirt.  This gave Dad our whole names.

Fast forward to this orientation....Mom had family come to the orientation as well.  We had to sign in with our full name.  They stepped up and signed right after us.  Guess what?  Now they have our full names. 

I have a friend who has fostered in another state and their identity was protected the entire time.  Even in court, they used just their first name or maybe added their last initial, but they were never addressed by their full names in front of the birth family.

I suppose this lack of concern was surprising to me....but it's done now.  And Google will be on their side.
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Orientation was supposed to be just orientation....but for some strange reason, they allowed Mom to come out and meet me with Dumplin.  Awkward at first.  I have this woman's baby.   She hadn't known who had her baby since the first foster family gave him up and she said she had been worried about him.  Mom said she was glad to meet me.  She held him the entire time, which was fine, until he was fussy.  Then, I had a hard time not coaching her.  Honestly, it had been a while since they had seen each other....who knows whether or not he knew that was Mom.  So sad to me.  I can't imagine.

Mom was nice.  Seemed grateful that Dumplin was obviously being properly cared for.  He fell asleep on her before the end of the visit.  They told us our time was up and, after goodbyes, she handed me her son and we headed out.  The next 'official' visitation would be the next Sunday.

I am only required to give her four hours of visitation per month.  This facility allows weekly 2-hour visits.  I wasn't sure if I would go each week, but quickly decided I would.  I would desire that greatly if the tables were turned - y'all, I really am trying to think of how I would feel in her situation.  Does she deserve this grace??  Nope.  But do any of us deserve grace? 

We will drive two cars to church each week so Dumplin and I can go straight from church to the facility, of course, on the opposite side of the city.  

I will miss my Sunday afternoon down time....

Unexpected

When I took Dumplin for his six month check up, I stepped off the elevator with my big kids and turned toward the doctor's office.  From behind me I heard, "Mrs. XYZ?"  I turned to see a tiny, older lady walking toward me.  She introduced herself as Dad's grandmother, Dumplin's great grandmother. Behind her was another older lady with a walker.  That's her mom.  Dumplin's great great grandmother.  Wow.  Dad lives with these two ladies.

Oh my goodness, wait.  How did they know I'd be here today??  Turns out, I had mentioned this appointment to Dad when I saw him at the MRI appointment.  Evidently, he went home and wrote it on the calendar.  Well....Dad is now is a facility so he couldn't come.  Granny was there to find out how Dumplin was doing and see what the doctor had to say about him.  She is a really sweet woman.  She thanked me for caring for Dumplin...and even shed some tears over the entire mess.  We visited in the waiting room for a bit after the appointment.  They both held Dumplin for as long as he would allow (not long).  Both were very happy to see him, after all, he had been living with them, too, before he came into care. 

Sad how the actions of Dumplin's parents have affected his extended family.

Feedings

Have I mentioned that I nursed both of my bio kids and this whole formula/bottle thing is foreign to me???  Thank goodness the directions are on the can!

Speaking of cans.  Cans of formula are not cheap!  I saved us a LOT of money by being a buffet...just sayin'. 

As a 'state child,' Dumplin automatically qualifies for state assistance in the form of WIC.  His voucher covers ten cans of formula per month.  This is not enough for a month of feedings.  Another reason I am so thankful that his doctor gave us four cans at our visit.

Dumplin takes a six ounce bottle every three hours.

His first foster mom noted in paperwork that it was taking him nearly an hour to take his bottle.

We never found this to be true, maybe 25-30 minutes, but I did wonder what might have been the issue.  I decided to check the bottles she sent with him.  I noticed that the nipples were marked with a '0' (zero)....meaning, newborn.  This baby is five months old, why is he drinking from newborn nipples??  I went to the store to see about different sizes and decided to buy size 2 nipples for a 6 month old.

Here's where my brain went...
1.  It took him so long to eat because he could barely get anything out of the too-small nipples, he'd get frustrated, or tired, and quit.
2.  While working so hard to drink from the too-small nipples, he was burning calories he needed to grow...he was tiny.
3. Let's up the nipples and see if it helps.

My theory may or may not have been exactly right, but what happened?
1.  He took his bottles in about 15 minutes.
2.  He started gaining weight. 

We went back to the doctor today for Dumplin's official six month check up and shots.  He now weighs 15lbs 2 oz (up 1lb 10oz) and has grown 1/2" in three weeks.

I'd say feedings are going well.  ;-)

MRI

We got Dumplin's MRI day done.

Ugh.

He couldn't have formula after 3am since his appointment was at 11am.  I think this may be the only time in all my baby days that I woke a sleeping baby to feed them.  We wanted him to have that 'last meal.'  After this, he could only have clear liquids up until 8am.  By waking him around 3am to feed, he slept until nearly 9am.  We packed a bottle for later in the day....I couldn't wait to feed him again.  Poor baby.

Ugh.

Dad DID show up.  He was a little late, but he found us in the correct waiting room when we were first waiting to be called back.  Since Dad isn't "paternity test positive" dad, he wasn't able to sign consent for the MRI.  The hospital actually had to get in contact with Mom where she was to get her consent.  (Y'all, such new territory for us.  We aren't supposed to sign ANYTHING that would make us the responsible party in such matters.  I basically have to write "DCS" in most spaces.  Pretty strange doing things for a child who isn't your own....)

When they called us back to the 'triage' type area, Dad wasn't allowed to go with us.  Again, him not being "official dad" meant that he had no rights.  Dumplin is legally in our care...Dad has no say.
 
Dumplin was a very drowsy all morning.  He mostly slept while we held him.  He didn't get really fussy while we were waiting his turn....until about 12:15, then he was OVER. IT.  Nothing would comfort him.  While he was super mad, they came in to start an IV in his arm.  Didn't matter much since he was already upset.  As he started to calm down and drift off to sleep, they came and got him for the procedure.  We kissed him and left the waiting area.

We went back to where we had left Dad and told him we were going to the cafeteria to find some lunch.  He came with us, but he didn't eat, even though we tried to buy him food.  He gave my husband his phone number in case we moved from there, then he stepped out for a smoke break.

We finished lunch and headed back down to wait for Dumplin.  Dad told us he had to go to work so he left.  A nurse came to get us about 20 minutes later and led us to the baby.  Dumplin looked sweet and pitiful at the same time.  They kept him hooked to the IV but allowed me to pick him up.  Once we were holding him again, he began to awaken.  It was so good to kiss his sweet face after this kind of day.  It wasn't long before he let us know that he was ready for a bottle. 

The nurse said that our doctor should receive the MRI results by the afternoon.   She released us and I couldn't get that baby home quickly enough.

Sweet baby.  That's what I call him. :)

***It was Friday and I didn't expect to hear anything.   I was pleasantly surprised when I received a call from the doctor at about 5:30pm!!  He said there was NO evidence of trauma.  His brain looked good.  Dumplin had evidently not been shaken or beaten...and there was no damage from the seizures he supposedly had at two months of age.   Praising God for this news!!  And kudos to a doctor who didn't make us wait all weekend to hear this news!

Now, we have to wait for the next ophthalmology appointment.  What's going on with this baby's vision?

Father's Day

When we got Dumplin, we knew the other 'characters' in the story were bio mom, bio dad and maternal bio grandpa. The only thing we knew about any of them:  Mom wasn't where she could ask for visits.  Dad was 'dad' but hadn't had a paternity test.

Just before Father's Day, Dumplin's caseworker, Dee, called me to see if we'd be willing to meet bio dad for a visit.  Apparently he had told her that he understood that asking for a visit ON Father's Day wouldn't be fair to my husband, so he was wondering about the day after.  We thought that was kind and agreed to the visit.

I printed off a few pictures of Dumplin to give Dad.  I also framed an "I love you, Dad" on which I had stamped Dumplin's feet.  In our certification classes, we had discussed that recognizing holidays for the bio parents could be a warm gesture....so Dad would get a little Father's day gift.

Husband and I took Dumplin to the visit together....we needed to both meet bio dad.  It had been about two weeks since he had seen Dumplin.  He spent the day with him in the DCS office the day the first foster family dropped him off.   From then, Dad didn't know who had Dumplin.  I can't imagine.

We updated Dad about the doctor visit we had had and informed him about the upcoming MRI, giving him the time and location.  It was actually only three days away.

Dad seemed nice.  He was able to comfort Dumplin when we was fussy, so that was nice.  Although, it was quite hard to not step in and offer assistance, I let dad deal with him.  I think it made him feel good that he could comfort him.  We gave him the little gifts and he seemed to really appreciate them.

We stayed about two hours.  Lots of small talk.  Got a few more details about him and Mom....and I decided in my brain that they probably shouldn't be together.

When it was time to leave, we parked in different directions, so we said our goodbyes.

Dad said he'd try to come to the MRI appointment.

We'll see.  

Sleep

Thankfully, this baby only gets up once per night for a feeding.

I'm nearly ten years older than I was when I had my last baby.

I've gotten used to sleeping through the night.

Maybe Dumplin will, too.