Timing

My brain likes to think about the timing of things.

What was I doing the year xyz came out?

OR

When did I meet so and so?

You can remember such things based on the other circumstances at the time. 
Where you were working.  What you were driving.  What song was popular.

So I was trying to figure out what was going on when *Dumplin was born.

He was born on a Tuesday in January of this year.

On a Tuesday, my big kids, let's call them Dude and Darlin, would've had school during the day, a music lesson in the afternoon at one nearby church and group music lessons at a different church that evening.  Tuesday afternoons are a busy for us.

It's also about the time we would take our second or third PATH class.  

That Friday was hubs' day off so we had appointments to go have our fingerprints done for our file.  (We took pictures of each other being printed, and the lady doing them was super sweet to explain the computer imaging process to Dude and Darlin.)

Then, I'm thinking about the time that went by between Dumplin's birth and him coming into foster care.  He was with his birth family until sometime in March.  The details are fuzzy, but it's a mess.  I believe he came into care toward the end of the month and placed with his first foster family.  Meanwhile, we were doing our classes, and everything else we needed to do, to become licensed.

The first family was caring for him the entire time we were waiting for our homestudy to be completed and approved.  One week after receiving our approval, that family decided to disrupt the placement.  They met with DCS and handed him over, along with his belongings, even though they were supposed to give notice and allow DCS time to find another family.  Dumplin spent all day in a DCS office with one of his parents.  The parent was called in simply to watch Dumplin while DCS made phone calls.  It had been a long day for a baby.  In an office.  Without a bed.

***I do not like the fact that they disrupted the placement...at all...but I did not walk in their shoes.  The reasons they disrupted aren't clear to me.  I heard, "It took too long to feed him" as the major reason, which I have an opinion about but I'll get to that later. His health/vision issues could've been a huge factor, but I just don't know if I agree with 'quitting' on a foster baby so quickly.  It seemed like a convenience thing.  You signed up for foster care....what will be convenient about it?   Maybe I"m wrong, but they only had Dumplin for about 2.5 months.***

I believe God used that family as a bridge to us.  (That helps me get over the disruption mess.)

Even if I don't like the disruption, I have to believe that God wanted to place this child with us for a reason.  God always knows what's coming next....He will equip our family to deal with it.

Eight

It has been eight years since we:

- had a baby
- packed a diaper bag
- had a baby spit up on us so much that we needed to change our clothes

Now, packing a diaper bag will include a shirt for myself. 

If you see me in a wrinkled t-shirt, say nothing. 

Or you'll get to hold the puking baby.  :)

Still VBS

VBS day 3....and now I had THREE children to get up and out the door.

I decided that rather than drop the big kids off and run around with the baby, I'd set up camp in the nursery....and I'd hold that baby all day.  After all, we had to get to know each other.

This is where I began to be blown away by the love of Christ shown to our family and this new baby.

Countless friends asked what we needed....and some just showed up with stuff.  We very quickly had all the larger baby items, and tons of small items and clothes.  And bottles.  Remember, he only came with two?  Now I had about twelve!

Blown away.  And grateful.

Learning

This is quite different than bringing home a brand new baby who you've birthed.

The obvious difference is that the one you birth is yours and this one isn't, but beyond that, this baby hasn't been with us since the beginning of his life.  Does he like to be held a certain way?  Does he require an uber quiet environment to sleep?  Does he burp after every ounce or just at the end of the bottle?

One thing we learned very quickly:  He spits up after every feeding.  A LOT. 

Our bio son was a puker.  We tried medications for reflux.  They worked for about two weeks and then he was at it again.   He wasn't in any pain, that we could tell, so it was merely a laundry issue.   Not just his laundry.  MY laundry.

If I remember correctly, Baby only got up for one feeding during the night.  That doesn't mean I slept peacefully.  I still had to get used to baby squeaks and grunts during the night because he slept in the pack n play in our room that night.

We have a baby.....still surreal.

Baby Inspection

We had been told to 'inspect' any children who come into our home and make note of any marks/issues going on with them.

We found what we thought was a birth mark and took pictures for our records.

Baby also came with a rather nasty diaper rash.  :-/  Sweet friends were coming to bring us a mattress for the crib we bought and asked if there was anything else we needed.  Diaper. Rash. Cream.  They graciously picked that up for us.  Poor baby.

Other than those two issues, baby seemed to be in pretty good condition.  Sounds like I 'kicked the tires on a used car' or something. 

Our goal?  Make him less of an object and more like a family member. 

6:00pm

On the way to meet the caseworker, I believe we inhaled some sort of fast food.  It's a blur, really.

We got to Walmart a little early and went in to look for that crib that the other store didn't have.  It had also dawned on me that we didn't have diapers, bottles, burb cloths, etc.  Fortunately, the caseworker called and we were able to ask if he was coming with any of those items.  He was.  I did pick up a few things.  While we were loading up the car, the caseworker called again to say she was there, sitting in the car, feeding the baby.

We got in the car, drove around the lot to find her car and parked when we saw her.

Here we are.  In a Walmart parking lot.  Meeting a lady we'd never met.  Who didn't ask us for ID.

And we got a baby. At Walmart.  She handed me this tiny almost-five-month old boy.  Smitten.

I spoke to the caseworker a bit.  She tried to give me details about what the baby had been through that day and a little about what he was like.

He came with a tub full of clothes, blankets, diapers, 2 bottles, formula, a diaper bag and a car seat. We transferred everything to our car and the caseworker left. 

We have a baby...

- Bald
- TINY, wearing a 3m outfit

- Sporting a double chin and mini-leg rolls



******************************************************

Did I mention it was crazy hair day at VBS? 

I'm so glad my hair was normal....but our son looked like this....

I tried explaining this to the caseworker....

3:22pm

I'm at the music lesson with my children and my phone rings. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail since I was IN the lesson.  I notice that whoever called has left a message.  I was just about to check it when my husband called.  I was still in the lesson so I let him go to voicemail, also,  (bad wife) so I could listen to the first voicemail.  It was DCS (Dept of Children Services).  The lady said something about being our worker, whom we hadn't met, but even though we hadn't met, she was calling with a potential placement.  <insert shock>

I stepped out of the lesson and called my husband, who was a little...excited?...as he told me he had just gotten off the phone with a caseworker about a placement.  He began to give me the info he had:

- white, male. 4 months old
- being transferred from another foster family
- has 'limp baby' syndrome
- possibly blind
- foster mom said "it takes too long to feed him"
- can we take him today?

He told the lady that he needed to speak to me before he gave her an answer.

While I'm on the phone with hubs, a similar mystery number called me.  I let hubs go to answer this call. It was a different caseworker.  She gave me the info hubs just ran down for me.  I told her that I needed to speak to my husband before I gave her an answer.

While pacing the halls of the church where the music lessons were held, I called to speak to hubs again.  We wondered, "Could we deal with a blind child?"  "How severe is 'limp baby syndrome?'"  "Why did other foster family disrupt their placement?"

The ultimate question though, "Do we want to take this placement?"

We decided to trust the Lord. 

Hubs called the caseworker back and told her that we could accept the placement.

Talk about butterflies in your stomach.  Oh my word.  We just agreed to take a baby.  Someone else's baby.

The caseworker explained that their process is to call three families.  If they get a 'yes' from all three families, a group of caseworkers reviews all of our files and decides which family might best fit the child.  We were told that we would be called back with a decision.

<Begin freak out>

As soon as the music lesson was over, I told the children that we *might* get a baby in a few hours.  They were excited.  So excited that I had to prepare them for it not happening, lest their hearts be broken.

Hubs and I decided to meet at, where else? Walmart.  If we were getting a baby, we'd need a car seat stat.  We also looked at cribs, even though we had a pack n play.  We were told that DCS prefers a crib....it's more "permanent."

While strolling the aisles and comparing prices, hubs' phone rang.  It was DCS and we had been chosen to get the baby.   (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  His caseworker said she'd meet us to give us custody.  Where did she want to meet?  Where else??  Walmart!  A different Walmart, across town.  In one hour.

We purchased a travel system, but this Walmart didn't have the crib we chose.  Good thing we were headed to another Walmart...