Mom

Mom has been in one facility and has moved to a new one now.  She can now have weekly visits.  In order for us to be able to take Dumplin to see her, we had to attend an orientation at the facility.  We got the Dos and Don'ts.  Overall, duh.  We can't slip her money, cigarettes, alcohol, weapons, or drugs.  We had to sign off on the policies and provide our driver's license for ID.

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Hold on, let's talk about the anonymity of foster parents.

Apparently, in this state, there is none.

From that first visit with Dad, we had to sign in at the building where we were visiting.  A sticker with our names was printed and we wore it on our shirt.  This gave Dad our whole names.

Fast forward to this orientation....Mom had family come to the orientation as well.  We had to sign in with our full name.  They stepped up and signed right after us.  Guess what?  Now they have our full names. 

I have a friend who has fostered in another state and their identity was protected the entire time.  Even in court, they used just their first name or maybe added their last initial, but they were never addressed by their full names in front of the birth family.

I suppose this lack of concern was surprising to me....but it's done now.  And Google will be on their side.
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Orientation was supposed to be just orientation....but for some strange reason, they allowed Mom to come out and meet me with Dumplin.  Awkward at first.  I have this woman's baby.   She hadn't known who had her baby since the first foster family gave him up and she said she had been worried about him.  Mom said she was glad to meet me.  She held him the entire time, which was fine, until he was fussy.  Then, I had a hard time not coaching her.  Honestly, it had been a while since they had seen each other....who knows whether or not he knew that was Mom.  So sad to me.  I can't imagine.

Mom was nice.  Seemed grateful that Dumplin was obviously being properly cared for.  He fell asleep on her before the end of the visit.  They told us our time was up and, after goodbyes, she handed me her son and we headed out.  The next 'official' visitation would be the next Sunday.

I am only required to give her four hours of visitation per month.  This facility allows weekly 2-hour visits.  I wasn't sure if I would go each week, but quickly decided I would.  I would desire that greatly if the tables were turned - y'all, I really am trying to think of how I would feel in her situation.  Does she deserve this grace??  Nope.  But do any of us deserve grace? 

We will drive two cars to church each week so Dumplin and I can go straight from church to the facility, of course, on the opposite side of the city.  

I will miss my Sunday afternoon down time....

Unexpected

When I took Dumplin for his six month check up, I stepped off the elevator with my big kids and turned toward the doctor's office.  From behind me I heard, "Mrs. XYZ?"  I turned to see a tiny, older lady walking toward me.  She introduced herself as Dad's grandmother, Dumplin's great grandmother. Behind her was another older lady with a walker.  That's her mom.  Dumplin's great great grandmother.  Wow.  Dad lives with these two ladies.

Oh my goodness, wait.  How did they know I'd be here today??  Turns out, I had mentioned this appointment to Dad when I saw him at the MRI appointment.  Evidently, he went home and wrote it on the calendar.  Well....Dad is now is a facility so he couldn't come.  Granny was there to find out how Dumplin was doing and see what the doctor had to say about him.  She is a really sweet woman.  She thanked me for caring for Dumplin...and even shed some tears over the entire mess.  We visited in the waiting room for a bit after the appointment.  They both held Dumplin for as long as he would allow (not long).  Both were very happy to see him, after all, he had been living with them, too, before he came into care. 

Sad how the actions of Dumplin's parents have affected his extended family.

Feedings

Have I mentioned that I nursed both of my bio kids and this whole formula/bottle thing is foreign to me???  Thank goodness the directions are on the can!

Speaking of cans.  Cans of formula are not cheap!  I saved us a LOT of money by being a buffet...just sayin'. 

As a 'state child,' Dumplin automatically qualifies for state assistance in the form of WIC.  His voucher covers ten cans of formula per month.  This is not enough for a month of feedings.  Another reason I am so thankful that his doctor gave us four cans at our visit.

Dumplin takes a six ounce bottle every three hours.

His first foster mom noted in paperwork that it was taking him nearly an hour to take his bottle.

We never found this to be true, maybe 25-30 minutes, but I did wonder what might have been the issue.  I decided to check the bottles she sent with him.  I noticed that the nipples were marked with a '0' (zero)....meaning, newborn.  This baby is five months old, why is he drinking from newborn nipples??  I went to the store to see about different sizes and decided to buy size 2 nipples for a 6 month old.

Here's where my brain went...
1.  It took him so long to eat because he could barely get anything out of the too-small nipples, he'd get frustrated, or tired, and quit.
2.  While working so hard to drink from the too-small nipples, he was burning calories he needed to grow...he was tiny.
3. Let's up the nipples and see if it helps.

My theory may or may not have been exactly right, but what happened?
1.  He took his bottles in about 15 minutes.
2.  He started gaining weight. 

We went back to the doctor today for Dumplin's official six month check up and shots.  He now weighs 15lbs 2 oz (up 1lb 10oz) and has grown 1/2" in three weeks.

I'd say feedings are going well.  ;-)