When we got Dumplin, we knew the other 'characters' in the story were bio mom, bio dad and maternal bio grandpa. The only thing we knew about any of them: Mom wasn't where she could ask for visits. Dad was 'dad' but hadn't had a paternity test.
Just before Father's Day, Dumplin's caseworker, Dee, called me to see if we'd be willing to meet bio dad for a visit. Apparently he had told her that he understood that asking for a visit ON Father's Day wouldn't be fair to my husband, so he was wondering about the day after. We thought that was kind and agreed to the visit.
I printed off a few pictures of Dumplin to give Dad. I also framed an "I love you, Dad" on which I had stamped Dumplin's feet. In our certification classes, we had discussed that recognizing holidays for the bio parents could be a warm gesture....so Dad would get a little Father's day gift.
Husband and I took Dumplin to the visit together....we needed to both meet bio dad. It had been about two weeks since he had seen Dumplin. He spent the day with him in the DCS office the day the first foster family dropped him off. From then, Dad didn't know who had Dumplin. I can't imagine.
We updated Dad about the doctor visit we had had and informed him about the upcoming MRI, giving him the time and location. It was actually only three days away.
Dad seemed nice. He was able to comfort Dumplin when we was fussy, so that was nice. Although, it was quite hard to not step in and offer assistance, I let dad deal with him. I think it made him feel good that he could comfort him. We gave him the little gifts and he seemed to really appreciate them.
We stayed about two hours. Lots of small talk. Got a few more details about him and Mom....and I decided in my brain that they probably shouldn't be together.
When it was time to leave, we parked in different directions, so we said our goodbyes.
Dad said he'd try to come to the MRI appointment.
We'll see.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Sleep
Thankfully, this baby only gets up once per night for a feeding.
I'm nearly ten years older than I was when I had my last baby.
I've gotten used to sleeping through the night.
Maybe Dumplin will, too.
I'm nearly ten years older than I was when I had my last baby.
I've gotten used to sleeping through the night.
Maybe Dumplin will, too.
Friday, June 13, 2014
More
Let's talk a little more about Dumplin's health.
I previously stated that he was in good condition. By that, I meant that he had not been abused. He had no evidence of trauma. He had been in a foster home, therefore, there was no real concern about how he had been treated recently.
How is he really?
- At nearly five months old, he was wearing a 0-3 outfit when we picked him up.
- He sounded very congested all the time.
- He spit up a LOT after every feeding. Like, forget the burp cloth and just use a blanket kind of spit up. Or prepare to change your clothes, his clothes and clean whatever chair you're sitting in.
- He was a face-down sleeper....literally, he smashed his nose into the bed.
- He could not hold his head up. He was chin-to-chest.
- He could not hold his upper body up....so sitting him up on your lap wasn't happening.
(These two things are what the first foster parent meant when she described him as 'limp baby'
- He has a 'birthmark'
- He doesn't focus on or track anything with his eyes. Blind??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got concerned about all the congestion/spit up so I told his caseworker that I wanted to take him to the doctor. She sent me a picture of his insurance card and told me what doctor he has been seeing. Turns out, this doctor has seen him since his birth in the hospital. I felt that it would probably be beneficial to stick with this doctor since he knew Dumplin's history. If I liked the dr, we'd keep him.
I got Dumplin to the doctor. He weighed 13.8lbs and was 23 3/4" long. We discussed his congestion and spitting up. The doctor said he has reflux and that, as a reflux baby, he naturally produces more mucus...so that's why he sounds congested all the time. He said he didn't want to treat Dumplin for the reflux; he doesn't like to 'turn stomach acid off' unless the child appears to have painful reflux. "Acids are there for a reason, we're gonna let them do their job."
The 'birthmark' isn't really a birth mark. It's a Strawberry hemangioma and apparently it wasn't there at birth. The doctor said it typically develops soon after birth and grows for the first year of life. It could shrink and fade with age. Either way, we'll watch it.
The dr also checked Dumplin's eyes. Sadly, the baby didn't fix and follow on anything. It's as if he didn't see anything, although at home, we're convinced that he turns towards and stares at light, the tv and the geometric curtains in his room. The doctor told me that Dumplin had already been taken to an ophthalmologist and that an MRI was scheduled for later this month. The MRI would let us know if there was an obvious reason for the lack of vision, ie, trauma to the brain, perhaps from seizures or physical abuse.
Doctor: He's a healthy little guy, but he just can't see a darn thing.
Me: (nervously, with a look of pity) Ok then.
The doctor gave me several cans of formula, for which I was SUPER grateful. (I nursed both of my bio kiddos, so I was blown away when I learned how much formula cost and how much I'd be buying.)
In about three weeks, I'll be bringing Dumplin back for his six month check up and shots, yippie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the doctor visit: I cried. And worried. And cried.
Would this sweet baby really be blind for life? Would we have him long enough to see what happens? How would WE raise a blind baby? Would his parents keep trying to get him back if he's blind? Would they just sign off and let him go? And then what??!!
Worry and fear are not from the Lord...my wise husband said, "One day at a time. We just need to love him one day at a time."
I previously stated that he was in good condition. By that, I meant that he had not been abused. He had no evidence of trauma. He had been in a foster home, therefore, there was no real concern about how he had been treated recently.
How is he really?
- At nearly five months old, he was wearing a 0-3 outfit when we picked him up.
- He sounded very congested all the time.
- He spit up a LOT after every feeding. Like, forget the burp cloth and just use a blanket kind of spit up. Or prepare to change your clothes, his clothes and clean whatever chair you're sitting in.
- He was a face-down sleeper....literally, he smashed his nose into the bed.
- He could not hold his head up. He was chin-to-chest.
- He could not hold his upper body up....so sitting him up on your lap wasn't happening.
(These two things are what the first foster parent meant when she described him as 'limp baby'
- He has a 'birthmark'
- He doesn't focus on or track anything with his eyes. Blind??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got concerned about all the congestion/spit up so I told his caseworker that I wanted to take him to the doctor. She sent me a picture of his insurance card and told me what doctor he has been seeing. Turns out, this doctor has seen him since his birth in the hospital. I felt that it would probably be beneficial to stick with this doctor since he knew Dumplin's history. If I liked the dr, we'd keep him.
I got Dumplin to the doctor. He weighed 13.8lbs and was 23 3/4" long. We discussed his congestion and spitting up. The doctor said he has reflux and that, as a reflux baby, he naturally produces more mucus...so that's why he sounds congested all the time. He said he didn't want to treat Dumplin for the reflux; he doesn't like to 'turn stomach acid off' unless the child appears to have painful reflux. "Acids are there for a reason, we're gonna let them do their job."
The 'birthmark' isn't really a birth mark. It's a Strawberry hemangioma and apparently it wasn't there at birth. The doctor said it typically develops soon after birth and grows for the first year of life. It could shrink and fade with age. Either way, we'll watch it.
The dr also checked Dumplin's eyes. Sadly, the baby didn't fix and follow on anything. It's as if he didn't see anything, although at home, we're convinced that he turns towards and stares at light, the tv and the geometric curtains in his room. The doctor told me that Dumplin had already been taken to an ophthalmologist and that an MRI was scheduled for later this month. The MRI would let us know if there was an obvious reason for the lack of vision, ie, trauma to the brain, perhaps from seizures or physical abuse.
Doctor: He's a healthy little guy, but he just can't see a darn thing.
Me: (nervously, with a look of pity) Ok then.
The doctor gave me several cans of formula, for which I was SUPER grateful. (I nursed both of my bio kiddos, so I was blown away when I learned how much formula cost and how much I'd be buying.)
In about three weeks, I'll be bringing Dumplin back for his six month check up and shots, yippie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the doctor visit: I cried. And worried. And cried.
Would this sweet baby really be blind for life? Would we have him long enough to see what happens? How would WE raise a blind baby? Would his parents keep trying to get him back if he's blind? Would they just sign off and let him go? And then what??!!
Worry and fear are not from the Lord...my wise husband said, "One day at a time. We just need to love him one day at a time."
Saturday, June 7, 2014
Dumplin
Our sweet daughter wrote a poem for Dumplin.
I'm happy to have kept it where I could find it.
I'm even happier to get it edited in order to share it.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Timing
My brain likes to think about the timing of things.
What was I doing the year xyz came out?
OR
When did I meet so and so?
You can remember such things based on the other circumstances at the time.
Where you were working. What you were driving. What song was popular.
So I was trying to figure out what was going on when *Dumplin was born.
He was born on a Tuesday in January of this year.
On a Tuesday, my big kids, let's call them Dude and Darlin, would've had school during the day, a music lesson in the afternoon at one nearby church and group music lessons at a different church that evening. Tuesday afternoons are a busy for us.
It's also about the time we would take our second or third PATH class.
That Friday was hubs' day off so we had appointments to go have our fingerprints done for our file. (We took pictures of each other being printed, and the lady doing them was super sweet to explain the computer imaging process to Dude and Darlin.)
Then, I'm thinking about the time that went by between Dumplin's birth and him coming into foster care. He was with his birth family until sometime in March. The details are fuzzy, but it's a mess. I believe he came into care toward the end of the month and placed with his first foster family. Meanwhile, we were doing our classes, and everything else we needed to do, to become licensed.
The first family was caring for him the entire time we were waiting for our homestudy to be completed and approved. One week after receiving our approval, that family decided to disrupt the placement. They met with DCS and handed him over, along with his belongings, even though they were supposed to give notice and allow DCS time to find another family. Dumplin spent all day in a DCS office with one of his parents. The parent was called in simply to watch Dumplin while DCS made phone calls. It had been a long day for a baby. In an office. Without a bed.
***I do not like the fact that they disrupted the placement...at all...but I did not walk in their shoes. The reasons they disrupted aren't clear to me. I heard, "It took too long to feed him" as the major reason, which I have an opinion about but I'll get to that later. His health/vision issues could've been a huge factor, but I just don't know if I agree with 'quitting' on a foster baby so quickly. It seemed like a convenience thing. You signed up for foster care....what will be convenient about it? Maybe I"m wrong, but they only had Dumplin for about 2.5 months.***
I believe God used that family as a bridge to us. (That helps me get over the disruption mess.)
Even if I don't like the disruption, I have to believe that God wanted to place this child with us for a reason. God always knows what's coming next....He will equip our family to deal with it.
What was I doing the year xyz came out?
OR
When did I meet so and so?
You can remember such things based on the other circumstances at the time.
Where you were working. What you were driving. What song was popular.
So I was trying to figure out what was going on when *Dumplin was born.
He was born on a Tuesday in January of this year.
On a Tuesday, my big kids, let's call them Dude and Darlin, would've had school during the day, a music lesson in the afternoon at one nearby church and group music lessons at a different church that evening. Tuesday afternoons are a busy for us.
It's also about the time we would take our second or third PATH class.
That Friday was hubs' day off so we had appointments to go have our fingerprints done for our file. (We took pictures of each other being printed, and the lady doing them was super sweet to explain the computer imaging process to Dude and Darlin.)
Then, I'm thinking about the time that went by between Dumplin's birth and him coming into foster care. He was with his birth family until sometime in March. The details are fuzzy, but it's a mess. I believe he came into care toward the end of the month and placed with his first foster family. Meanwhile, we were doing our classes, and everything else we needed to do, to become licensed.
The first family was caring for him the entire time we were waiting for our homestudy to be completed and approved. One week after receiving our approval, that family decided to disrupt the placement. They met with DCS and handed him over, along with his belongings, even though they were supposed to give notice and allow DCS time to find another family. Dumplin spent all day in a DCS office with one of his parents. The parent was called in simply to watch Dumplin while DCS made phone calls. It had been a long day for a baby. In an office. Without a bed.
***I do not like the fact that they disrupted the placement...at all...but I did not walk in their shoes. The reasons they disrupted aren't clear to me. I heard, "It took too long to feed him" as the major reason, which I have an opinion about but I'll get to that later. His health/vision issues could've been a huge factor, but I just don't know if I agree with 'quitting' on a foster baby so quickly. It seemed like a convenience thing. You signed up for foster care....what will be convenient about it? Maybe I"m wrong, but they only had Dumplin for about 2.5 months.***
I believe God used that family as a bridge to us. (That helps me get over the disruption mess.)
Even if I don't like the disruption, I have to believe that God wanted to place this child with us for a reason. God always knows what's coming next....He will equip our family to deal with it.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Eight
It has been eight years since we:
- had a baby
- packed a diaper bag
- had a baby spit up on us so much that we needed to change our clothes
Now, packing a diaper bag will include a shirt for myself.
If you see me in a wrinkled t-shirt, say nothing.
Or you'll get to hold the puking baby. :)
- had a baby
- packed a diaper bag
- had a baby spit up on us so much that we needed to change our clothes
Now, packing a diaper bag will include a shirt for myself.
If you see me in a wrinkled t-shirt, say nothing.
Or you'll get to hold the puking baby. :)
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Still VBS
VBS day 3....and now I had THREE children to get up and out the door.
I decided that rather than drop the big kids off and run around with the baby, I'd set up camp in the nursery....and I'd hold that baby all day. After all, we had to get to know each other.
This is where I began to be blown away by the love of Christ shown to our family and this new baby.
Countless friends asked what we needed....and some just showed up with stuff. We very quickly had all the larger baby items, and tons of small items and clothes. And bottles. Remember, he only came with two? Now I had about twelve!
Blown away. And grateful.
I decided that rather than drop the big kids off and run around with the baby, I'd set up camp in the nursery....and I'd hold that baby all day. After all, we had to get to know each other.
This is where I began to be blown away by the love of Christ shown to our family and this new baby.
Countless friends asked what we needed....and some just showed up with stuff. We very quickly had all the larger baby items, and tons of small items and clothes. And bottles. Remember, he only came with two? Now I had about twelve!
Blown away. And grateful.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)